Grass and my soul
Being a suburban kid, I really have no personal connection to all the agricultural references in the Bible. Being in Saskatchewan, having family who still farmed, and spending one summer tree planting all helped me a bit, but I’ve never really had to “work the land”.
Until now.
I am officially a homeowner, with 10 x 10 plot of grass in the front, and about a 40 x 60 foot in the back. The ground is grey, hard and stony. Some grass is surviving, but competing with dandelions and clover. Other people have come by and visited, and they all had ideas for me. It all seemed so easy to them, such a minor thing. But I looked at this patchy stuff, especially this spring, and wondered “How on earth do people do this?”.
Then you go to the local big box stores to buy some dirt and seed. Beautiful pictures of lush green turf abound – you just buy this product, plant it, spread it, spray it, and look at what your lawn will do! Literally hundreds of different products and all kinds of tools for the work. So into my car goes the seed and dirt bags tattooed with golf-course images, shiny new rakes and garden tools.
All I can say is, it’s been slow. And while I’ve been working, I can’t help but see the parallels with my relationship with God. It just seems to me my soul is just like that lawn – it really doesn’t look like there’s much of a future for it. It just makes me want to quit – or have something develop quickly (like sod! Alas, it requires just as much prep work and is expensive, too!). I put in a little work on the lawn, and after seeding, watering and letting the sun do it’s work, I wake up the next day and it’s…..pretty much the same.
Now 6 or 8 weeks have passed and I’ve seen growth, and it’s starting to look better. So here’s what I’ve learned: that I want things right away. I am terribly impatient, and when my own labor does not produce anything the next day, I think it a failure! And that having all the resources in the world (selections of the best advice, seed, soil, and fertilizer money can buy) still does not change anything. The same goes for my expectations of the Christian life, or of any ministry I get involved in. I see so many in the younger generation experiencing the same thing: they want everything to be perfect right away, without much effort, without much anxiety – yet Jesus has given us a different model. He says the kingdom of God is like a mustard seed, starts very small. He says it’s like a farmer sowing seed, hitting all kinds of different soil. He says it’s like workers who work in a vineyard for their reward later, and it’s also like servants who are entrusted with resources, only to see what they will do with them while the master is away. Psalm 126 might be best little summary of the emotions of “working in hope”.
Growth at 1174 Tall Pine came from: unglamourous weeding, lifting and carrying soil around, and watering. It also came from outside help – thank you Mr. Weed company that arrated, fertilized and helped weed. And finally, it came from things I cannot control – the sun, the rain and the mysterious work of germination and roots. And for my own change as a human in relationship to God there’s the daily work of confession, service to others, and devoting time to prayer and scripture. There’s the outside help of my church, worshiping and learning together, as well as podcasts, sermons and articles from the internet. And finally, there’s the mysterious stuff that God promises to do in me, an actual process of regenerating growth – the presence of the Holy Spirit, and after a while – I’m changing.
As I’ve been working outside my house, I’ve found myself praying for grass to grow! Then I add a prayer, asking God to do the same with my life.